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"If life gives you lemons, grow a lemon tree. When that tree gives you more lemons, make a lemon orchard. When that orchard gives you more lemons, sell them and become rich. Then next time you see life, you can say, “Thanks for the lemons!” Life hates people who are grateful for its lemons."
-Unknown



Sunday, January 1, 2012

Success Story of an Ex-Sex Offender

    


     When I first started this blog over two years ago. I made a firm decision that I would not help anyone charged with any kind of sex crime. I made this decision, because I personally have been a victim of rape and truly did not believe that any of these people could change. When I received e-mails or letters from people with these charges asking for advice or help. I would either delete the message or direct them to someone else. It was not until December 2011 that I changed my attitude about ex-sex offenders.

     I went to visit an old friend of mine from high school who I had not seen in at least six years. As we were catching up I told him about this blog. He shared with me that he had a good friend that spent ten years in prison for a sex crime and was a registered sex offender, but turned his life around and now made a decent living for himself. This was the first time I had ever heard of an ex-sex offender having any kind of success. I asked my friend if he would ask this person permission for me to contact them and get their story. His friend and I talked the very next day. Here is the list of questions I asked him and his answers (revised of course).


  • What company do you work for? 
I work for a healthy fast food chain that is know for it's $5 foot long subs.  
  • How long have you been with this company? 
 I have been with the company for 4 years and have had 3 sets of owners.
  • How long did it take you to get into management? 
Only about a year.
  • How did you move up so quickly? 
I worked longer and harder than anyone else. I never called in, came in on my days off if needed, always early, never late, did my best not to break any rules, and especially never got into any of the employee drama. Anything I talked about at work was only work related. 
  • Are you able to hire and fire employees?
Yes, I do all the hiring and firing. 
  • Do you give ex-felons a chance when they apply?
All of the time. I even hired a man that was charged with manslaughter. I give just about everyone a chance. If they come into the restaurant with a good attitude and well groomed I give them a chance.
  • How far did get you in school? 
I was taking classes at a local tech school and passed my classes with A's and B's. I stopped going because I worked so much.
  • Do you plan on getting back in school? 
I do very badly. I am trying to get back in now.
  • What do you plan to go back to school for? 
I want to be an engineer. 
  • What are your long term goals? 
My long term goals are to finish school and start my own business.

     I really enjoyed talking to this person. My views about ex-sex offenders have changed a little. I believe that this person has changed and has moved on with his life in a very positive way. I love his determination as well it inspires me. Ex-sex offenders have a much harder time finding employment than any other ex-felon. This goes to show that you really can do anything you want no matter what your current circumstances are, as long as you have the drive and desire.




8 comments:

  1. What did this guy do to get charged?

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  2. What this person did is none of our concern. What is our concern, is how he over came his circumstances and moved on in a positive manner.

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  3. I agree with Ex-Felon Girl. We do not have the right to judge orders regardless of their crimes. We have all done wrong. How can we ask for forgiveness if we are not willing to give it?

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  4. You are absolutely right. What gives us the right to judge another for his/ her crimes when we have committed some ourselves. I admitted in this post that I myself looked down upon people charged with sex crimes. It was not until I talked to this guy that my views changed some. I am not saying I would welcome someone in my home right off the bat that was convicted of a sex crime, but neither would I for any other ex-offender.

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  5. I am a registered sex offender and I was inspired by this man's story. I received probation (which I recently successfully completed). I also spent 5 months in a residential treatment program for sex offenders. After I came home I found a job right away. They didn't ask about criminal history on the application and because I had a good work history, I was hired. I worked there for over four years and was recently terminated because a long illness kept me from working. They are a small company, so I had no recourse through the Family and Medical Leave Act. Now I find myself jobless again. I am a decorated veteran of the armed forces and worked many years for a defense contractor prior to my conviction. I have a wife and teenage daughter to support and I find my situation hopeless. The story of the man you interviewed has given me renewed hope that I can again become a productive member of society and overcome the obstacles that I have put before myself through my own stupid action. Thank you for this site.

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  6. I am so happy to hear that this post inspired you and gave you hope. Like I said I have been debating writing about registered sex offenders, but I came to the conclusion it was just the right thing to do. Your comment lets me know I did the right thing. I can tell that you have a lot of passion and drive these are the tools that you must have to reach success. We all make stupid choices in life, but what is most important is how we go about correcting those poor choices. I wish the best for you. Please keep me in touch and let us know how are you doing.

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  7. My fiance just came home last week & he too has the sex offender on his record. NOT all sex offenders are animals, and nasty people. You would have to understand their story to understand what took place. I have a child by my fiance and we are very happy together. Everyone's story is different, and having a SO charge is like a witch hunt. Its considered worst than murder, which is bizarre. But, we are regular people living our lives out together. God Bless!

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  8. Thank you for sharing that. I agree not everyone that has an "SO" charge is a bad person. As I have stated before, these were not always my beliefs. I used to look at everyone with an "SO" charge as scumbags of the earth. I have learned through this blog and talking to some of these people that it is not always so cut and dry.

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